He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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