i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
