his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
