i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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