why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
