i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize