dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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