Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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