Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
