After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
