I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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