ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
