Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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