On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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