He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
