At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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