My sheets look like a crime scene.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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