i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
