Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
