could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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