That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
