The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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