I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
