grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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