I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she told me i tasted like america
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I still have a little drunk in my system
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
