so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
