y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so explain again why im purple
no
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
