I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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