And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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