i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
