let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
