Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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