So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
