I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize