with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
