I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
