I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Randomize
