I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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