he shaved USA in his pubs
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
