apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
