we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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