Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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