i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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