My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
