Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
