great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
