Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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