im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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