I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
