dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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