I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
