I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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