I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she peed on how many people?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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