those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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