then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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