alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
