...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
