Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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