I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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