I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
